I wonder

When our world

Comes to it's end

I wonder

Where will we be?

What will happen

To our home

Will we still have

Family?

Will we be sitting

Waiting for life

To satisfy us

Temporarily? 

Will we be indulging

At the worlds feast

To feed us

Physically?

Will we be lost

In the storm

Raging inside 

Emotionally?

Will we be sound

Or wrapped in white

Because we're lost

Mentally?

Will we have quit

And forgot hope

Abandoned our faith

Spiritually?

When our world

Comes to it's end

I wonder

What will we be?

The Gym

I went to the gym yesterday
It wont kill me to skip a day
I wont instantly gain weight
So just let me go and play
Working out can wait

I lifted a few weeks ago

My waist line hasn't begun to grow
So what if I skip another day
Tomorrow, I'll surly go
Today, I am going to play

Its been a month or so

My Toneness has started to go
So Im deciding to save my fit body
Im skipping the gym no mo'
Tomorrow Ill lift devoutly

A few pants sizes higher
I am now an XL buyer
To the gym I no longer go
But, don't call me a liar
I can go work out tomorrow

That's coach Benji

     Before my mission, I went to the gym almost every day of the week. If anyone looked at me then or now, no one would be able to tell but that's okay. I went with one of my best friends named Benji. I hated that stinkin' kid! We were at the gym at 6:30 and usually only were there for an hour. But, there would be mornings where I would call Benji and say, "Bro, I'm tired...I worked late last night. And I think I might be getting sick..." Hoping he would stay home and then I could get some extra shut eye. Then, the brat would say, "Thats okay! I hope you are getting well. I wanted to lift with you today but I'm already at the gym so I can just do it alone." And like that he guilt tripped me and I was at the gym 5 minutes later. Or he would say, "Come on, man! You're starting to really progress in (whatever the area we were working out) you can sleep in tomorrow!" He wouldn't let me sleep in the next day. And then when I was at the gym he was my spotter. He would count how ever many lifts I had to do and then I was probably going to go into heart failure cause he would count like this. 1, 2, 3, 3, 3, 4, 5...acting like nothing had even changed. And then when I would be yelling at him to take it, he would make me do one more. And then one more. Until I dropped the weight and he caught it. Benji was also my personal dietitian which was even worse then my coach at the gym. He would ask me what I ate the day before and how many sodas I had etc. I would call him at times and ask, "Is this healthy?" Usually he would laugh and say, "Just cause it's in a salad doesn't mean it's good for you." I was driving to Idaho, it was a 6 hour drive and I was T.I.R.E.D so I called him and asked if I could get an energy drink. Cause I was probably going to die if I didn't...I thought my justification would work. Welp, it didn't. I came out of a store with fruits cause they provide "healthy energy". Psh. 

We thought we could push over
this tree, cause we lifted

     Even though I complained, whinned and complained some more, I loved the kid for what he did for me. The amount of excuses and justifications I gave him must have been down right annoying. How weak I am was probably fun for him to watch. And my lack of motivation to eat "healthy" was minimum. And yet, he stuck with me and for reasons I still don't understand, he was cheery about it! When I would drag my feet into the gym, he was perky and ready to get going! He was totally fine with carrying around my dead weight and getting me to do things that I never thought I could. I never thought I would have a gym pass. I never thought I could lift the amount of weight I did. I never thought I would order a salad over a burger and not ask for bacon bits. And then I came on a mission and lost everything I worked so hard for...I can repent about that when I get home though. 

     The thing is, he could have forced me to do a lot of things. He is a lot stronger than me and a lot more capable of hurting me then I could ever dream to do to him. Just like Jesus Christ. He had the ability to call leagues of angels to clean up that temple. He could have just winked at the pharisees and they could have been struck dead. But, He didn't. He allowed the people do what they did. Benji allowed me to skip the gym if I wanted to. He could have dragged me out of my house if he wanted to though. He asked me and invited me to follow him. Just like Christ did for everyone who came to Him. Even to His apostles He asked them to come, didn't demand, didn't force, just asked, "Follow me, and I'll make you fishers of men." (Matt 4:19) It's our choice to eat healthy or not. It's our choice to go to the gym or not. It's our choice to follow Christ or not. He won't force you to do anything, He will just ask. 

Peter

Peter

I wont fail or fall

I will fish this sea

I'll do this till I die

Along with sons of Zebedee

We will feed our family

Then He said, "Follow me."

I follow the master now

Often times confusingly

I speak up and say

"I will defend thee,

and slay the enemy."

He says, "Satan, get behind me."

We are the ocean

When He says, "Come to me."

I jump the bow full of faith

And take a step or three

Then I doubt, and suddenly

I scream and He's holding me.

"You'll deny me thrice."

The master said to me

For once, I hope he's wrong

But me they see

And ask questioningly

And I deny all three

The master is gone

John took Marry

And it's time to go back

So on the sea

With the sons of Zebedee

He calls and says, "I told you to follow me."

This was a not for reals shot, not being serious here
Just notice the adventure time t shirt

There is this TV show called, "Adventure time." And I thought it was straight up silly and that I would never watch it. Then my little brother came to me one day and presented me with a question. "Wanna watch adventure time with me?!" And I responded with something probably close to me saying I am far to sophisticated for such childish programs and I needed to go read  my college textbooks. Well, me being as wonderful of a older brother as I am, I consented to the belittling of my superior intellect and watched the first episode along side my little brother. After the episode he said, "Wha cha ya think?" And I told him I had puppies to save and the cure cancer to develop. But, humbling  myself to my younger sibling, I gave in again to watch yet another episode. When it ended, I told him to play one more episode. For further studying of course. And then we watched another, and another and another until I had finished the whole first season and was searching to find the next one. Now, I am excited to go home when I do and catch up on what I left off.

Didn't think I could climb that

Another thing I thought I would never like is country music. I grew up despising country music with a fiery passion. And then, one day on the radio we heard Taylor Swifts hit single, "Love Story". My friends all sang along while I covered my ears and sang some oldie song. I felt so left out and felt like I was missing out on the "in" thing. So, I lowered my hands and started to listen. That is when I heard the sweetest sound I ever heard, Taylor Swifts voice. She really did open up a whole new world for me and country music. Still growing to like it, but, something I said I would never like, I now have an entire playlist dedicated to. One can tell they are going to have a good day when you wake up to T-Swift. True story.

Lastly, I never thought I would finish my LDS mission. The amount of people who asked me, "Are you going on your mission?" And the amount of times I would come up with some lame blanket answer to basically tell them to beat it. I didn't want to go just to prove people I can do what I want. I didn't want to go cause I knew how hard it was going to be. I didn't want to go cause I knew people will hate me for it. I didn't want to go cause I will get hot and sweaty every day. I didn't want to go for the amount of work I had to put into it. I didn't want to go for a list of reasons.

Now, this is me reading into the scriptures and taking poetic leeway, but, why would Peter go back to fishing? Why would he deny Christ after serving with him for so long? From my personal view, because it was easier. He already knew how to fish, he had done it all his life until his apostolic calling. I had done my way of life all my life before my mission, why go out of my way to do something hard when it's easy and good where I am? He denied Christ cause they were about to kill Him. Would you have the courage to say that the man they are currently beating and whipping, "I am with Him." Not only would it be easier to say, "Don't know him" it would be a lot safer. He would have less people hating him as would I. I wouldn't have people walking up to me or waiting for me to walk up to them to tell me I am going to hell. It is a lot easier to just fish, for me to stay at home and for us both to just go about our life.

Didn't think I could do that either

I didn't have Christ come up to me on a sea shore and call me to follow him, but, I did have this thought. "Why would I, your Lord, take upon your sins? Why would I die for you? Why would I be hated of men for you? Why would I do what I did for anyone? Because I love you and I love them. And you cant go out there and serve them? Just cause it's hard and uncomfortable?" Why did He? Why did Peter go back? Why am I on my mission? Because of love. Christ loved me enough to do what He did for me. Peter loved his fellow man and Christ enough to do what he did. And I love God enough and people enough, even if they hate me, to be out here and to do what I do. John 15:17 "Love one another." That doesn't mean, love when it's convenient or easy. Only love when love will be returned. It says love one another, to love our neighbor. To turn the other cheek and to give to those who have none. He gave His life for me, I can give up two years for Him and for others.



 

Self

Self

He laughed and was blue

He made us all laugh, from me to you

He was set free

No, not just as the genie

Someone so loved

Is now watching from above

Popularities consequence

Is the loss of self confidence

Im beautiful they say
The voice within says theres no way

He told me Im his friend

Inside I felt Id be alone in the end

She started to laugh

She probably thinks Im a psychopath

He said He loves me

The other said, You'll burn eternally

Christ calmed the waves

The storm didn't choose to behave

He said, move this mountain

The earth cannot say no and choose to stand

But you, you have choice

You can listen to Him, or hear your own voice

The more honor cords, the better I am, right?
Those are all my older brothers...

This is a problem I have seen a lot of. The thought of, the more I have, the better I will feel. How many times I walk in somewhere and see this delicious looking food. So I load up my plate cause for one, I dont want to get up twice. And second, I know that I will be able to eat more then I have put on my plate. And thus where the saying comes in, eyes are bigger then your stomach. Or, there was this time where I needed to get a hoodie. Well, I didn't need it, but, I knew if I got it my life would be complete and I would probably get more dates and girl friends because I looked so good. Well, at the store there was only one hoodie. It was a double XL. If any one knows me, I am very much a M t shirt sized guy. But, I needed it. So I bought it, and then I only wore it inside my house. Never took it outside cause I looked just down right stupid. But, I knew if I got it, I would feel better. Right?

I'm the dork in the middle, with size 11 shoes

My goodness, the ammount of parallels to this subject and my clothes is crazy. I have size 9 feet, and I got a pair of size 11 shoes just cause I knew I would look so cool in them. I got this V neck that, well, I don't need to describe it. It just looked bad. But, at the time I thought it is what I wanted and needed. And they would bring me happiness. All those shoes did was bring me blisters. And a lot of funny looks. 

One time, me and my friends went to a gymnastic gym. And, I'm not very good at doing back flips and my friends are. They were practicing doing standing back flips, and doing flips off the wall. I could see how much happiness that was bringing them that I knew I had to be able to do that so I could be cool like that. Well, long story short. It didn't work out so well and all I ended up getting was being laughed at by my friends and breaking some of my ribs. Not worth the flips. Not worth it at all, but, I'm not the only one who gives up something like breathing or laughing comfortably for something we think will be better. Like Judas Iscariot. 

 He was an apostle of Jesus Christ. He was personally with a man who thousands of people would wait to see. He personally witnessed for Jesus Christ. He went out there and shared the good word of Jesus of Nazareth. The man who can heal the sick, raise the dead and cause the blind to see. And, forgive me for over reading into the scriptures. I am taking poetic license to prove my point. After all these wonderful things and more, Judas, was not happy. He was set that the things of the world could bring him happiness and comfort. He thought that a little more cash would enable him to reach the next level. Maybe get the latest pair of Jordan shoes. Or get an Xbox One. Or whatever the fad was back then. So, he thought that the extra cash dough would calm the storm inside of him and allow him to finally be happy. 

The more ladies the better? Right?

The only person who can calm the storm inside of you is Christ. In Mark 4, Christ rebukes the waves and commands the wind to cease. In Matt 17:20 Christ tells you that if you have faith of a mustard seed, you can walk up to a mountain and say, "Hey, I need you to move." And it will peace on out. Those waves and that wind didn't have to decide what to do. That mountain doesn't weigh the pros and cons of moving before it decides to go or not. They are commanded and they do. But, you, now you are a different story. We as humans have agency. We have the ability to say, "Yes" or "Bite me". So we can listen to Christ and be at peace. Or, we can let the storm rage on. And a lot of times on the path that follows Christ, we have to move our mountains for Him. He is going to ask us to do things that will not be easy. He is going to ask us to give up everything that we have for Him. He's going to ask us to give up our will to follow Him. Because He did the same thing when God had a task for him to do. (Luke 22:42) Instead of the original thought of, "The more I have, the better I will feel." God says, "The less you have and the more you give up, the happier you will be." It's going to be your choice weather you will or wont. He's not forcing you, all He does, is ask you to follow Him. 

People be like

People be like

If thou wilt, thou cants make me clean
The leper begs please
Christ Jesus laughs
As he goes past
He has places to be

He took his first watery step
And walked towards the Lamb
Peter slipped
Then he tripped
"It's not my fault he left land."

She had suffered for bloody years
So she exercised a particle of faith
She grabs his coat
Her hand was smoat
"That woman needs to learn her place."

What if Christ acted just like
The way we do socially 
Would he have done
What only the Son
Could do to save you and me

I don't know if people here in Florida will be able to understand the story I am about to share cause it will involve snow, so I will make a FTV (Florida Translated Version) after the story to help my brothers and sisters out here. I really like to snowboard, I would go every week and then sometimes take a sick day from school and go to the slops to shred some gnar. One problem of snowboarding, your feet are strapped in and so you have to keep your momentum going when you are going over flat parts. Otherwise, you will have to un strap one foot and push yourself to the next hill. And during my pre pro life of snowboarding, I would often times find myself stuck. And I would have to unstrap one foot and proceed to look like a fool and push myself till I reached the lift or a hill. Occasionally, someone would hear my silent prayer and pull me along. And by someone, I mean a skier, even though they are basically the scum of the mountain thinking they are all that, they can sometimes be nice gents. They ski past us struggling boarders all the time, this isn't a unusual occurrence on the  mountain.

(FTV) So now, I will compare the snow like unto a truck stuck in the mud. You can't get out of the mud often times until someone comes and pulls you out of the mud. Understand?

Well, them skiers be like, "Stinks to be him, should have learned to ski." And they ski past, some laugh and troll us boarders as we waddle on by. Some other skiers be like, "I gotta get to the lift before the line gets big!" And they ski past. Other skiers be like, "I'm better than that boarder anyways." And they ski past.

(FTV) Some truckers just don't want to pull you out of the mud. Get it?

But, one day while I was on the slopes I saw a little girl who was new to the skiing world. She was trying to go up a hill to reach her parent. This girl who was being brought up in a world that was so full of pure evil was struggling just like I had so many times. And so I un strapped and pulled the girl up the hill. Her mom was very nice and thanked me a lot. And then I snowboarded away like a gentleman and a scholar, not wanting to receive praise like most skiers do.

(FTV) Even though you're a UF fan, stuck in the mud. A fan of FSU pulls you out of the mud and they go their way.

When we are stuck, we look for someone to bail us out and to give us a hand up. But, when we see someone who is stuck, we often times just keep on walking by. Some even take the time to make fun of you for your situation. Usually a skier or a UF fan. What if Christ was like us? What if He had the attitude like we did towards someone who is struggling? If you would want Jesus to pull over and help you out, why wouldn't you help someone else out?

Sympathy

Well my life had this 

And I suffered from that 

I've fallen and tripped 

And been laughed at 

You don't know how hard 

It is to get by 

So stop comparing 
You can't even empathize

Well, her life was lonely
Being left on the street 
No family or home 

No shoes on her feet 

You're blessed more than her

So stop complaining 

And crying abused wolf 
You don't know true ailing

Well, he felt so blue 

He couldn't see the light 

All he would dream about 

Was ending his life 

You at least have 

Self image and confidence 

You never chose 

An everlasting consequence 

Well, he was betrayed 

And His friends did deny 

He was scourged and beaten 

He was unfairly tried 

He didn't complain 

As he took on your sin 

He said he loves you 

As nails were driven in 

Back in the day of elementary, girls had cooties. So me and my friends were complaining about how annoying girls were and how bad we had it being chased in kissing tag. "Yeah, I had these two girls pin me down by the slide!" "Oh, yeah? Well, I had five girls chasing me!" Then there was always the kid who took it over the top and beyond. "The teacher chased after me! Ewwww!" Probably to put him in timeout but fort the sake of one upping, the exact details are not needed.
Another thing we would do as kids was play knights and dragons, cowboys and Indians or cops and robbers. It was all fun and games till an argument started. "I shot you with my dragon fire breath. You're dead." "No I'm not! A wizard put a spell on my armor so fire dragon breath doesn't hurt me! And then I chopped you with my sword so you're dead." "No! My dragon scales are so strong that swords don't cut me!" And our play time ended up with us getting in a fight over who was dead, hating each other and then five minutes later playing again. #littlekidprobs

#shortmanprobs

Being a short guy, I complain about myself all the time to all those tall guys out there. Shoot, in the women's standard work of what to look for in a man, one of the first things in there is, "tall, dark and handsome." Shoot dang it, I strike out with the first one. Life isn't always fair. And see from my perspective, I've got it bad. And when I'm surrounded by tall guys and women looking for tall guys, I can complain all the day Long. But when a shorter guy walks in the room, I have to complain about something else otherwise, all those sympathy points I have been laboring to receive will be thrust upon the midget that enters the room and then what do I have? Maybe I can complain about not having enough facial hair? Cause something we people seem to do, is play the pity party to get attention. And then it becomes a competition on who has it the worst in life.

Feel bad for me, I dislocated my arm

Like we did as little kids, we still do it now. We compare, complain and compete with just about everything under the sky. Even when it's something silly like girls, cops and robbers or short people problems we still compete one with another. So why do we do it with life's challenges and hard ships? Telling someone how bad you have it and going into details to get sympathy points doesn't do any good. It doesn't solve any problems or make anyone's life easier. Giving excuses and tweaking the reality to make it sound harder than it really was doesn't change the fact that we all have problems. I stubbed my toe once. Someone got their toe cut off. Someone never even had a foot to start with! Have we gotten anywhere? Have we fixed anything? Has anything changed? 
Christ wasn't up on the cross crying to the other two thieves saying, "Well, my cross is higher than yours and I've been up here longer than you." He took the sins of the world upon himself, did He walk over to Peter and say, "These are the things you struggle with? LOL. These 'challenges' you have are a walk in the park compared to most. Let's see you do what I have to do." He did all that He did because He loves us. Because He wants to help us through this life. So stop trying to make your life sound harder than it really is. And if it's really that hard, whining about it won't change it. Let's say Christ never rose from the dead. Everything He did was moving and touching. But it doesn't inspire me to do much because life beat Him down and He never got back up. But, He did rise and that's the part that motivates me. Not the nails in His hands but His resurrection. It shows that when life gets me down, when I fall like Christ did, I too can rise. 
Instead of telling those in the dust you've had it worse, just help them up and tell them that they can do it - cause you have too. It motivates them to rise up and even though they will fall again, it will be worth it. It doesn't make them feel stupid for falling down a hill cause you fell down a cliff. We have all felt sad. Whether you have mental depression or not. We have all felt mad. Whether you have an anger problem or not. We have all been tempted. Whether you're an alcoholic or not. We have all felt alone. Whether you're a homosexual or not. We have all felt the trials of life, so has Christ. He has felt it all and did He tell you in your darkest hour, "I've had worse."? Did He reach out his hand and wince and say, "Ow! Sorry, these scars from nails in my hand are still tender..." He has fallen and we have fallen. He is risen and we too can rise.

Compare

There are some who are better then you
In every way shape and form 
And others will hold you to their height 
And judge you with their eyes of scorn 

There are those who are prettier than you 
Tall, slender and fair 
Whose body is curvy and smooth 
And yours will just never compare 

There are many who are smarter than you 
Who know the worlds twists and turns 
Who can answer every question 
Fingers for math is how you count and learns 

There are people you will never beat 
In what ever field they choose 
But in Gods eyes you will always win 
With Him, you will never lose 

So stop comparing to those who are there 
In front of the television screen 
And look at the one who's in the mirror 
And realize who loves your entire being 

There are plenty who are better then you 
But compared to God they are dust 
So forget about them, and focus on Him 
Cause he loves and died for all of us 

Mr. T, who pitied my lack of Muscles

Once upon a time, now you will have to take my word for this, I used to go to the gym. I used to is the key. I used to be able to get a date with a girl, but, things change. (Thats not me complaining that I can't date on my mission, that was me making a sarcastic sly that I can't get a date with a girl because of my body mass.) And at first I hated going because there are some guys who are thicker than trees. Shoot, I kid you not, there was a 70 year old man there, who was my height, and he was benching more than I'll ever be able to do, legally. And then my partner in crime that would go with me, he has been working out sense nam. And I struggled with comparing myself to e'eryone and their dog in that little gym. I felt like everyone was watching me fail putting up twenty pounds of raw weight. I would often complain to my friend and whine about me not being as strong as the guy whose biceps were as big as my head. And my friend would say something around the lines of "Stop comparing. He's physically bigger than you and you'll probably never be able to lift what he can. Not cause you're not trying, just cause your body is just smaller than his." Then he would always throw in a compliment, "I bet he cant run as fast as you though." How often do we not want to sing out loud, cause we can't sing as good as a professional or the guy swooning all the ladies. How often do we not want to play basketball with our friends cause we can't make a free throw as good as the kid who has been playing since he was in diapers? How often do we not want to perform because we're not the best?

Which drink would you rather rot
away your teeth?

How'd it work for the guy who had one talent compared to the guy who had two or five? He completely missed his opportunity to perform his best. He missed the chance to grow and learn. To gain more than he already had.All cause he wasn't as good as the next guy. If you look around in the world, there are a lot of people. And often times, your best talent, there is someone out there who can do it better than you. Blindfolded. Does God look down on you because you bench less than the guy next to you? Does God look down on you because you're not as pretty as the super model? Is God going to turn you away from entering into his presence because you aren't the tallest best missionary ever? If the answer is yes, then, I'm out of luck. IF the answer is no, then why do we do this to ourselves?
Look in the mirror. You are you. No one else is you. There is only one you. You are the best at being you. There isn't someone out there who is a better you than you are. God doesn't love you less because He wants you to be not you, He loves you for you. If there are people out there who don't accept you for you, thrown them away. We all have our flaws. Our cracks and bumps. We are not perfect. But, I'm the best me out there so I think I'm doing pretty good. I think God would say that too. Don't base your opinion about yourself on what others see in you. They don't know your desires, dreams and thoughts. Sure, they can see your actions, doesn't mean they know you. If I was only me for the way I acted, shoot, I think I would have been burned at the stake by now. Here's an analogy to stump all others. 

Once upon a time, you were walking to walmart and you tripped. Does that mean you are not still walking to walmart? We have all tripped on our way to walmart, and has God struck us down for slipping? We all trip so stop comparing yourself to those who are currently walking and not picking themselves back up. Stop looking at people's facebook pages and wishing you had their life. People make fake profiles all the time. The best way to look like you are having success in life is your facebook. You can pick and choose all the good moments, and not mention the bad ones.All of us have tripped on our way to walmart. Even those who look perfect have tripped too. God doesn't care how many times we slip and fall, He cares that we keep walking and try our best to show up to His door. Have faith not only in Christ's atonement to wipe away all your mistakes and trips. Have faith in yourself to do these things. Have faith that you can do this life. Have faith that you are someone of worth. Have faith that you are the best you out there, no one is a better you than you.

I kept going to the gym and I got stronger. Of course the other guys there got stronger too, but, does that make my personal progress less? I am what I am is what some great man said, and so are you. I have kept walking to walmart even though I have tripped so many times. God loves me for me. And He loves you for you. 

Some people made me and my companion sock babies, and they made his taller than mine...

Scriptures: Exodus 3:14, Matt 25:15-29